A boy told me he liked my hair the other way so I shaved my hair instead of my pussy

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE

When the businessman shoulder-cheks me at the airport,

I do not apologize

Instead, I write him an elegy on the back of a receipt and tuck it in his hand

as I pass through the first class cabin

Like a bee, he will die after stinging me

I am 24 and have never cried

Once a boy told me he “doesn’t believe in labels” so I embroidered the word “chauvinist”

on the back of his favorite coat

A boy told me he liked my hair the other way so I shaved my hear instead of my pussy

While the boy isn’t calling I learn carpentry build a desk, write a book at the desk

The boy says he prefers blondes and I steam clean his clothes with bleach

The boy says I am not marriage material and I put gravel in his peper grinder

The boys says period sex is disgusting and I slaughter a goat in his living room

The boy doesn’t ask if he can choke me so I pretend to die while he is doing it

My mother says this it not the meaning of unfazed

When the boy says I curse too much to be pretty

and I tattoo “cunt” on my inner lip my mother calls it “being very fazed”

But left over from the other universe are hours and hours of waiting for him to kiss me

and here there are just hours.

Here they are a bike across Long Island on June

Here they are a novel read in one sitting

Here they are arguments about God or a full night’s sleep

Here I hand an hour to the woman crying outside of the bar

I leave one on my best friend’s porch

Send my mother two in the mail

I do not slice his tires I do not burn the photos

I do not write the letter I do not beg

I do not ask for forgiveness

I do not hold my breath while he finishes

The man tells me he doesn’t love me and he does not love me

The man tells me who he is

and I listen I have some much beautiful time